This will be my first post, I will try to keep this thread updated with what is happening in this situation.
I apologize in advance for how long this post is.
I believe my Grandmother is narcissistic. My mum is the youngest child and has an older sister my aunt, my grandmother never wanted a second child and there is quite an age gap between my aunt and mum. There has been speculation that my grandmother had an affair (a few affairs) and my mum was the product of that affair due to the fact that my Granddad never had anything to do with my mum, he barely spoke to her. My mum does not look like my granddad nor does she have his traits.
Anyways, my mum was made to feel like she was never wanted and was often shipped of to other members of the family. During my mums childhood my grandmother suffered from anorexia and was institutionalized when this was particularly bad. My mum was treated very badly by my grandmother and aunt, we do not know all the details as they are painful memories for my mum. My aunt is like a carbon copy of my grandmother, they do everything together and in some ways my aunt is more nasty than my grandmother, could this be due to age?
When it was my mums wedding day to my dad, my dad had beaten my mum and my mum did not want to marry him. My grandmother forced her down the aisle, saying to my mum how she paid for the wedding, how bad it would look on her, that my mum was being selfish etc. Needless to say my mum wanted to please my grandmother and went ahead with the marriage giving birth to my sister and I. My aunt by this time had three children and they were all carbon copies of my aunt, quite scary really.
My grandmother has her favorites evidently my mum and I are not the favorites, my sister was. My sister got invited to theme parks and dinners out, I was always told 'another time maybe' that time never came around. I would always try and make my grandmother 'like' me, but over time I realized that she never would, through cruel acts that she would commit towards me. I can only remember from the age of 13 what she did, but I am sure it was younger. One incident I remember, I was 13 and I was being bullied at school, I had very few friends because of this. My grandmother and aunt waited at the school gates for my sister and I, they made sure my sister was surrounded by friends and that the few friends I had were watching. They gave my sister a mobile phone and said I could have the free bag as I didn't have any friends. They did not see anything wrong with this and said that we were in the wrong to argue with them. It lead to a massive falling out and one that we had to apologize for in the end.
My grandmother has two different faces as I like to call them, one were she is happy and that everyone loves her and one where she only shows to those who do not conform to her ideologies, she makes sure no one is around when this face pops up. It leaves you wondering whether this is the same person. My partner did not believe me when I said that she had another side to her, until she saw it for herself.
I could go on forever with what she has done, but I am trying to make this as short as possible! A couple of years ago on my birthday we had a massive argument that has lasted only until a month ago. I won't go into any details just yet, but it had been building up. My mum during this time has had mental health problems and has had cognitive therapy I think that is what it is called? To help her deal with my grandmother and previous relationships, she is and will be on tablets for the rest of her life, the doctors have said this to her.
I should also say that my grandmother and aunt are huge manipulators and have turned the whole family agaisn't my mum, sister and I.
A month ago, they got back into contact with my mum and sister, it is what my grandmother and aunt do, it is like they are addicted to hurting people and stirring things up. They said that my grandmother was dying and wouldnt make it to christmas. They gave money to my mum (yes they use money as a weapon) a large sum in fact. I am worried, very worried as my mum has made really good progress in her therapy so much so that it has stopped. Could they both unravel this? I suspect they are only back to cause an argument and needless to say my grandmother is not dying like she implied, it was a very cruel guilt trip game they have been playing.
Is there anything I can do?