Our son is marrying a narcissist in a little over two weeks. This woman, after what my husband and I thought was a nice dinner out, said the "air
needed to be cleared" as we were about to leave the table at the end of dinner. She then preceded to verbally abuse me. My mistake had been earlier,
last week as I drove our son to a post-op doctor's appointment I expressed my/our reservations about his fiancee and talked to him concerning her behavior
at her bridal shower the previous Sunday. Once the concerns had been expressed I let the issue go...he assured me he loved her, she loved him and I told him
that is all any parent can hope for or want for their child. Well, he told her all that I said (stupid me...stupid
him). This evening we got the whole lot thrown at us with lots of venom. I did try to diffuse the situation saying let it go..it's in the past, let's
move on. She couldn't let go of this bone and kept pounding on at me until finally my husband told her that we were through and we left the table and the
restaurant quietly.
This woman takes every conversation and refocuses it back on her...not matter what the subject it always comes back to her! She has had nothing but problems with people from college roommates, her family to co-workers. She has very few friends...none long term. Our son had appendicitis that began in the wee hours earlier this month...she left him vomiting, sweating profusely, in extreme pain and went to work...he called me. I drove across the valley to pick him up and take him to the emergency room. She showed up in ER an hour and half later, stayed two hours and left for a non-essential doctor's appointment telling me to "call when he's out of surgery." Prior to her departure from the hospital I'd left the engaged couple alone and had lunch with a friend whose husband is dying...he has pancreatic cancer with metastasis to the liver, on top of that he'd had surgery a few days earlier for a bowel obstruction. I thought our son and his fiancee would like some privacy. I later learned from our son that his fiancee was upset that I didn't invite her to lunch with my friend (we'd bought sandwiches in the cafeteria and taken them up to eat in her husband's room). Our son's fiancee has met my friend once...and never met her husband. It wasn't a social occasion...I was being thoughtful of them AND my friend...I knew she'd like a few minutes breather and a chance to chit-chat. If my friend wanted to cry, scream or swear about the pain her husband is experiencing and the sorrow she feels she didn't need an audience. So, our son had surgery...his dad, his sister and I were there waiting for him to come out of the OR...he left surgery at 4:30 and I telephoned his fiancee. He left recovery at 6 pm for his room...I left the hospital at 7 o'clock and his dad left at 8 pm. She still hadn't shown up...my friend went down to see our son at 8:30 pm and she still wasn't there...but was on her way. She didn't go back to work...but couldn't come and wait for the man she loves while he was in surgery, no she went shopping...
It's after midnight and I am still sick at what transpired this evening. I am familiar with narcissists as my mother was one...her tool with my sister, dad and I...divided and conquer. This strategy is quite familiar to me and this is what I see happening with our son. He and I were always close...he was close to his sister and his dad, too, but she throwing everything she can at this closeness so that she has the control...she has the power over him. I am just heart sick!!!
This woman takes every conversation and refocuses it back on her...not matter what the subject it always comes back to her! She has had nothing but problems with people from college roommates, her family to co-workers. She has very few friends...none long term. Our son had appendicitis that began in the wee hours earlier this month...she left him vomiting, sweating profusely, in extreme pain and went to work...he called me. I drove across the valley to pick him up and take him to the emergency room. She showed up in ER an hour and half later, stayed two hours and left for a non-essential doctor's appointment telling me to "call when he's out of surgery." Prior to her departure from the hospital I'd left the engaged couple alone and had lunch with a friend whose husband is dying...he has pancreatic cancer with metastasis to the liver, on top of that he'd had surgery a few days earlier for a bowel obstruction. I thought our son and his fiancee would like some privacy. I later learned from our son that his fiancee was upset that I didn't invite her to lunch with my friend (we'd bought sandwiches in the cafeteria and taken them up to eat in her husband's room). Our son's fiancee has met my friend once...and never met her husband. It wasn't a social occasion...I was being thoughtful of them AND my friend...I knew she'd like a few minutes breather and a chance to chit-chat. If my friend wanted to cry, scream or swear about the pain her husband is experiencing and the sorrow she feels she didn't need an audience. So, our son had surgery...his dad, his sister and I were there waiting for him to come out of the OR...he left surgery at 4:30 and I telephoned his fiancee. He left recovery at 6 pm for his room...I left the hospital at 7 o'clock and his dad left at 8 pm. She still hadn't shown up...my friend went down to see our son at 8:30 pm and she still wasn't there...but was on her way. She didn't go back to work...but couldn't come and wait for the man she loves while he was in surgery, no she went shopping...
It's after midnight and I am still sick at what transpired this evening. I am familiar with narcissists as my mother was one...her tool with my sister, dad and I...divided and conquer. This strategy is quite familiar to me and this is what I see happening with our son. He and I were always close...he was close to his sister and his dad, too, but she throwing everything she can at this closeness so that she has the control...she has the power over him. I am just heart sick!!!
