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I have just been alerted to your posting. You do not make it clear if you feel you might have NPD or if you are suffering as a result of someone close to you having it. It seems to me that you are in sufficient pain to be seeking therapy, and as a rule of thumb most narcissists would never question whether THEY have the problem so that is an indication that your prblems, whatever they are, have another root cause. There is hope, of that you can be sure. If I survived my life and have emerged positive, fulfilled and productive, anyone else can as long as they too want to be whole, healthy and capable of happiness. I can confirm from my own personal experience that the work you do upon yourself, to repair the damage done, will be the best work you can ever do, for ultimately YOU are the person who is responsible for how you convert the pain of the past into something life-enhancing for your future. Of course 'no man is an island' to quote John Donne, and you will benefit from help and guidance elsewhere if you open yourself up to it, which you seem to be doing by taking the positive step of seeking counselling. Good luck and please let me know how you are getting on. Lady Colin Campbell