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I don't really know if my sister has NPD, I have only recently started to think she could be. We have never had a good relationship, she always put me down, derided me, manipulated me, called me names and generally made my life miserable as a child. As an adult we have had spells of not communicating and she has been abusive on and off during this time. It is confusing as she sometimes wants to do nice things and help me, she wanted me to live in and manage a flat she was renting out. I found her getting more controlling and manipulative and decided i needed to get out of the flat share. I gave her notice to leave and she abrupted into a rage and let rip a tirade of vitriol(quite common with her) she said she was driving down that night to remove me from the flat instantly so I had to involve the police and council in order to block this. This is just one of many examples of her treatment towards me. She is the same with all of us to some degree, she is currently ignoring my mother, which stems from her coming to my wedding and generally being rude and ignoring reletives. She made such a song and dance because her brother in-law snubbed her family (us) at her own wedding and then behaved even worse at mine and then went into a fit of rage when my Mum tried to challenge her over the behaviour. She has never shown me any affection or my mother, I can't really recall her being affectionate at all. Although she is very charming and craves attention. I think she is massively jealous of me and yet I am a loser as far as she is concerned. At times though she can seem quite rational and talks about emphasising with others but now I am wondering if she actually does or its a facade. She lies and talks about her husband backing up her paranoid claims, when i doubt he does. He seems constantly stressed and his exma is really bad. I think she gives him a really hard time and has tried to cut him off from his family as she feels they look down on her. His parent seem very nice to me though. They are currently back in contact though as she has cut us off now.

She has two little girls and seems to love them and they seem happy and balanced. A lot of the profile seem to fit but am unsure about some of it - she doesn't seem devoid of empathy but could be, she is very proud of her parenting skills. I don't know what is best to do. I am sure we can never have a normal relationship and have decided to withdraw, I am ok with that. I just really feel for my Mum who is at a loss with what to do and feels she will loose contact with her grandchildren, whom she loves. Can this situation change or be improved? My Mum and me are both quite frightened of her if we are honest and dread contact with her, but my Mum does love her and blames herself.

Or am I being over the top here, its so hard to know???