sorry, so lost.
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Am I the worst parent in the world?
| Author | Comment | ||
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 Hanafin |
Am I the worst parent in the world? |
Lead | |
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Posts: 23 (11/23/03 09:33:43) |
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sirref |
Re: Am I the worst parent in the world? | ||
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Posts: 4 (11/08/07 22:56:28) |
My daughter has many of the symptoms of NPD. She has been yo-yoing in and out of her family since she was 16. Usually her departures followed a disagreement between her father and herself. Even when she was "in" the family, we were waiting for the next crisis that would require someone to rescue her.
Suffice to say that after a shouting match on the phone two years ago she chose to sever ties with all of her family and is still estranged. Guilt, profound sorrow and anger mix with confusion every day. By nature I am a "fixer" and was sure I could solve her problems but now I know I can't. She doesn't think or feel the way normal people do and she never will. Emotionally abandoning my daughter is the hardest thing I have ever done but she is like the little girl who has no pain sensors and is unaware that she has banged into a table. Hard to fathom, but true. My other family members are better off to not have to deal with her,disorder especially since there are now two impressionalbe grandchildren. If there is ever a treatment that offers hope, I'm there for her in spades but until then, for everyone's sake I am also the worst parent in the world |
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jinthecity |
Re: Am I the worst parent in the world? | ||
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Posts: 3 (11/16/07 21:24:14) |
Sirref,
If you are the worst mother, then I am the worst daughter... My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what it would be like to be the parent of a child like this...as the child of a mother like this I mean. I constantly struggle with the guilt of not loving and accepting my mother enough for who she is. It's been a hell of a life and, though I'm 33 now, I feel like I've finally surfaced for air these past couple of years. Is your daughter diagnosed? Did you ever get her into counselling? I wonder so much about this as it seems they lie and hide the manifestations of their problem with such duplicity that they are rarely diagnosed. My Mom is over 75 and has hid her issues as best she could all these years... I realize as I write you now that it's nearly impossible for me to subtract my life experience from my reply to your post. I can only tell you that I personally struggle to subtract my Mom from my life...because of course I am relatively healthy and want to have loving relationships with my family as most people want to... How do you do it? I know having her cut me out of her life all these years...it's left a huge scar on me. I wouldn't want to repeat that on my child but then, that's assuming they don't bring that NPD hell into my life as their Mum. I feel like the pain of a superficial relationship with her is too much to bare...but then the pain of her abuse is worse. Which way to turn. I can never decide. Jennifer |
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sirref |
Re: Am I the worst parent in the world? | ||
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Posts: 4 (11/22/07 15:32:24) |
Hello Jennifer,
Sorry that I am tardy in replying. I wrote you a note but didn't do something that would post it properly. In response to your question, yes she is seeing a therapist because she recognizes that she is blue more than she thinks she should be. Her therapist seems competent and caring but I believe she is only giving him the facts as she sees them or as she wants him to believe (she has always thought she was being victimized by various persons or groups... without provocation of course). In answer to the question, "how do you keep your relationship at the safe, superficial level", I don't always but I am convincing myself that it is in everybody's best interest to let go and keep contact to a minimum and not face to face. Good luck with you life. You don't need to save your mom. You do need to save yourself. |
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barb1964 |
just read your post! | ||
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Posts: 2 (03/04/09 08:54:14) |
I also am the mother of a daughter with NPD. I am absolutely distrought, she has used/abused me for the last 7 years, I question my own sanity!
Please help Barbara |
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femfree |
Help with N/P Children | ||
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Posts: 1 (03/04/09 11:53:43) |
There is lots of helpful tips and coping suggestions gathered over many years to help parents of at-risk children.
http://www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery.f20 One in particular is a letter from a mother of a psychopathic child. At the site too there is a discussion forum of mothers and father dealing with N chidlren. maybe you can help this parent here: http://www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery.f6.t3907 Take Care
Last Edited By: femfree
03/04/09 13:01:49.
Edited 3 times.
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